When I dream, I dream in color

I need a real love not just a lover. This is a sentences of Sarah Connor's song 'When I dream'. I know I'm pretty in Connor craze again but that shouldn't be todays topic.I really like this line, somehow all my recent thoughts are in it but let's start at the beginning:

When I dream

Sleep is an unknown word for me at the moment. From 8 to 4 I'm the good pupil who does her homework all the time but doesn't know Math stuff nevertheless. Then I deliver newspaper, have private lessons, am at the Red Cross or do something for our church paper. Then I'm looking for exciting people and topics, solve technique problems with http://docofsci.blogspot.de/ or do organizational stuff. And then, when the time for sleeping has come I write posts like this one.

I love this life. I love writing and I love breaking down barriers. I often think my day should have 30 hours so that I could make all I want to do but so I don't have time for thinking about anything at least. Today I had time for it during the free hour with my best friend Keks and of course a weak moment arrived soon. Normally my mind is free of this thoughts at the day and they just come when I'm dreaming. I had to think on a boy I really like. The thing takes over two years now and even if there has never been a real relationship it hasn't been nothing. I don't know if you know that. You see somebody for the first time and you think 'I want him!', the second thought is 'No, he's too old, too young, too small, too tall or too whatever'. So you dodge this guy because you'd fall in love if the person just says hello but you know it can't work. Shortly after it the person approaches you and you completely block even if you're already in love. After his 12th try you think 'so what' and comply. Of course you're in love but there's no chance because of the reason you've already known before. The love would be there but it's one of the other cruel reasons that can be between two people. Probably weeks full of tears will follow. That's my story but it took months. It takes months. From time to time it gets better but then there's one dream that ruin all. These moments query everything. I live my dream here with this blog but the other dream makes this seem useless.

I dream in color

This part is of course for the Bunte or Colorful Bonbon. So many dreams have already come true and that's why I wanna thank you! Even in hard times you are the ones who help me standing up again.

I need a real love not just a lover

That's the reason why I'm single. Why having a boyfriend for just having one? Surely I met some guys in between I was interested in but why taking an artificial diamond while knowing where the real one lies?

_Marie_

Follow me on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Blog.BuntesBonbon